Learning to Live

 One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses

that are blooming outside our windows today.

Dale Carnegie

Hello. I know it’s been a long time since I have blogged. To be quite honest, I’ve felt as if nothing worth reading has happened lately. My thoughts aren’t all that exciting to read—in my opinion. I have not hit any cyclists with a bus, I haven’t hiked to the top of a mountain, nor have I encountered any strange and mysterious bugs lately. However, through encouragement from a couple of friends, I am sitting at my laptop trying to weave words, thoughts, and emotions together… so here goes.

I have exactly ten days left in Arusha.  It’s crazy to think that I just got here, and now I am leaving. After realizing the short amount of time that I have left the “could’ shoulda’ woulda’” thoughts began running through my mind, accompanied by regrets and wishes. I feel as if a majority of my life has been ruled by these types of thoughts. When I was 12 I couldn’t wait to be 20. When I got to college I couldn’t wait till I graduated. I have spent nights staring at my ceiling dreaming about what was in my future, wishing I could live that life now. These thoughts came to a halt one summer afternoon when I was sitting with one of my best friends Breana Pugh. Reading through the journal notes of her grandmother Bessie Pugh, one of the greatest women to walk this earth, she came across Nana Pugh’s thoughts about life. She said that people needed to live in the “now” and enjoy every moment. There is no sense in worrying about what needs to be done in the future because you will deal with it when it comes. When you are with friends, live in the moment with them. Don’t let your mind wander to all the things that you should be doing. Today and right now is what matters. This life-changing moment only happened last year. Bessie Pugh has inspired this blog today.

I have ten days left. Ten days to grow, ten days to learn. Ten days to smile at every person I see on the street, and ten more days to fight a mosquito net, cold showers, and crazy drivers. For all those wondering if I am homesick- yes. I am desperately homesick. I miss my mother, my sisters and brothers, friends, church family, and macaroni and cheese. I miss Yana’s 615 and all of the wonderful people I work with there. I miss the West Texas stars and long summer nights. This list could go on and on. However, I am learning to live in the right-now moments, I can’t let them escape me because I will never get them back. Thank you all for your encouragement while I have been here. It’s been a wonderful journey, and it’s not over yet. If I am able to, I plan to blog every day before I leave. With that said this message is coming to an end.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that we are always getting ready to live, but not living. I don’t want my life to be composed of dwelling in the past because each day is a blessing. The picture below is from my safari to Arusha National Park this past weekend. When I looked out at the water the only feeling I had was thankfulness. I was thankful for the moment that I could enjoy. It was a moment that God blessed me with. I am thankful for a wonderful today, and pray that God allows me to see a beautiful tomorrow.   Till then…

xx