An Unofficial Goodbye

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.  

Flavia Weedn

It seems like just yesterday that I arrived in Arusha. It seems like just yesterday that I fought with my mosquito net for the first time, killed 100 crazy bugs, and woke up to the erratic rooster next door. It all seems like just yesterday…and now I’m packed and leaving in a couple of hours. I don’t know at what point this all happened but, I fell in love here. I fell in love with life and nature, and finding beauty in everything. I thought that I was ready to go, but yesterday I realized that I’m not. Yesterday I had the chance to go on a safari to the Ngorongoro Crater, which is a conservation area for atleast 25,000 animals. Not many people living in Tanzania have the opportunity to see this area, so I am very grateful that I experienced it. Driving in our car we saw lions, zebra, elephants, wildebeests, hippos, and much more. At one point we stopped for a break to stretch, and zebra walked right in front of us. Not many people in life get to experience this, so I wanted to share it with you. I was in awe of the beauty that was right before me. I wasn’t thinking of anything but the moment that I was living in, taking in each breath with thanks to God.

I’m going home now, and sad to leave Tanzania. This has been the experience of a lifetime, and I won’t let this goodbye be the last. In just six weeks I’ve grown as a person. I’ve learned so much about people, and myself. The world is at my fingertips, and I don’t want to let it go. I know this is a short blog post, but I am heading to the airport soon, ready to conquer the 24 hours of flying ahead of me. I’m so thankful for this trip, and welcoming the journey ahead of me. I’m thankful for parents that supported me on this adventure, and all the friends and family that gave me encouragement. I fell in love with Tanzania, and it doesn’t end here…

Fall in love, and do it over and over again.

xx

If youre happy and you know it....

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Budda

 You know, I thought I knew what happiness was, how to gain it, and keep it in my life. For some time I had thought that certain things would make me happy, like my iPhone, apartment, or the BMW that I don’t own yet. A voice in my head would whisper,

“You will really be living your life and become happy after you have all that you want and everything is in order…”

At the moment I am shaking my head at this confession. Let me express what I’m learning about real happiness…

I find happiness here in the woman that I see every day walking down the street with about 30lbs of bananas balancing on her head.  I see happiness in the man sweeping the dirt on the already dirt-road because he is proud of who he is and what he has. Happiness is in the Rastafarian that makes a living selling bracelets that people like me buy for less than a dollar. I want to cry when I see happiness shining on the face of a street child that probably owns nothing more than the clothes that she is wearing on her back. Until now, I have not shared what I see every day here in Arusha. I see people that are proud, strong, and joyful in the lives that they live. However, these people have almost next to nothing. The other day I asked my friends Baraka and Tosh if they were happy. Their responses surprised me…

“I’m happy with the life that I live. People ask me why I laugh, because I have nothing, but I’m happy- the same as a rich man. He has money but he may be sad…. I don’t have much but I’m happy. There is no better life than the life I live.”

In Arusha, happiness is not in the things that you own, nor is it through money. All of the riches in the world cannot buy happiness. I’ve come to realize that all that I think that I need, I really don’t. They are not what bring me joy. As I pass through each day here I find that I get happiness in the small things in life, like a butterfly resting before me, the sun on my skin, or the stars shining at night. I find joy in hearing my mother laugh, singing to Whitney Houston in front of the mirror, and the smell of summer rain. These things bring me real pleasure, and nobody can take them away from me. Moments like these are blessings from God, who is the center of all my joy.

I will never have everything I want. My life will never be in order….and so what. This is the first time I’ve said “so what” to un-organization of my life, and I don’t care. I’m graduating in December and I have absolutely no idea what comes next, but rather than dwelling on that, I’m going to enjoy today. It’s my last Saturday in Arusha, so I’m not going to worry about tomorrow, because it’s inevitable- the sun will still rise whether I am ready for it or not. People here don’t worry about the future. Tosh told me the other day, “The rain will come when it comes…so, I’m not going to bother worrying about it today.”

Happiness is a treasure that everyone needs. My life is not perfect, and nothing near it, but I’m going to be happy. I don’t look like Angelina Jolie, but I’m going to be happy with who I am. Today, though I am sick and wrapped up in a blanket, I’m going to smile and be happy- and nothing less than. Tanzania taught me that. I hope you enjoy the pictures I am posting. The moments captured are times that brought me the most joy here. I find joy in the little things.

Until next time…

xx

 

 

 

Learning to Live

 One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses

that are blooming outside our windows today.

Dale Carnegie

Hello. I know it’s been a long time since I have blogged. To be quite honest, I’ve felt as if nothing worth reading has happened lately. My thoughts aren’t all that exciting to read—in my opinion. I have not hit any cyclists with a bus, I haven’t hiked to the top of a mountain, nor have I encountered any strange and mysterious bugs lately. However, through encouragement from a couple of friends, I am sitting at my laptop trying to weave words, thoughts, and emotions together… so here goes.

I have exactly ten days left in Arusha.  It’s crazy to think that I just got here, and now I am leaving. After realizing the short amount of time that I have left the “could’ shoulda’ woulda’” thoughts began running through my mind, accompanied by regrets and wishes. I feel as if a majority of my life has been ruled by these types of thoughts. When I was 12 I couldn’t wait to be 20. When I got to college I couldn’t wait till I graduated. I have spent nights staring at my ceiling dreaming about what was in my future, wishing I could live that life now. These thoughts came to a halt one summer afternoon when I was sitting with one of my best friends Breana Pugh. Reading through the journal notes of her grandmother Bessie Pugh, one of the greatest women to walk this earth, she came across Nana Pugh’s thoughts about life. She said that people needed to live in the “now” and enjoy every moment. There is no sense in worrying about what needs to be done in the future because you will deal with it when it comes. When you are with friends, live in the moment with them. Don’t let your mind wander to all the things that you should be doing. Today and right now is what matters. This life-changing moment only happened last year. Bessie Pugh has inspired this blog today.

I have ten days left. Ten days to grow, ten days to learn. Ten days to smile at every person I see on the street, and ten more days to fight a mosquito net, cold showers, and crazy drivers. For all those wondering if I am homesick- yes. I am desperately homesick. I miss my mother, my sisters and brothers, friends, church family, and macaroni and cheese. I miss Yana’s 615 and all of the wonderful people I work with there. I miss the West Texas stars and long summer nights. This list could go on and on. However, I am learning to live in the right-now moments, I can’t let them escape me because I will never get them back. Thank you all for your encouragement while I have been here. It’s been a wonderful journey, and it’s not over yet. If I am able to, I plan to blog every day before I leave. With that said this message is coming to an end.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that we are always getting ready to live, but not living. I don’t want my life to be composed of dwelling in the past because each day is a blessing. The picture below is from my safari to Arusha National Park this past weekend. When I looked out at the water the only feeling I had was thankfulness. I was thankful for the moment that I could enjoy. It was a moment that God blessed me with. I am thankful for a wonderful today, and pray that God allows me to see a beautiful tomorrow.   Till then…

xx